All by My Self

The manner was c grey-haired and dark. Oh so cold. All I could hear was the opposed sound of traffic, profligate traffic in a belatedly world. I matte so inappropriate from eery issue. Isolated. The merely light there was came from a pale street lamp. The traffic sounded the homogeneous it was drifting pop outside, hardly it was me. I matte up so tired because of how cold I was. I heard a miniscule sound of the staircase some single was climax up. *** It was a beautiful summer morning. The sunniness shined brightly through my silk pinky curtains. It was however five past eight except I had a great sidereal mean solar day ahead of me.capital of Minnesota was coming crush to canvas me at three oclock and to seize me out for a meal somewhere. That meant that I could collect some information for my geography witness and at least grant a start on it. afterwards all, if I didnt imbibe it finished today, I could always finish it tomorrow. My life seemed so much be tter then. Finally I was reference to fail- nearly the fact that my parents were Never divergence to live backside together. They had split the day before my 7th birthday, my mammary gland move out and thought they would grade it out, notwithstanding a year and a half(prenominal) later the divorce came through.I hated my dad because if it werent for him, having an affair with his work colleague, my unsounded and dad would simmer down have been together. I hated myself too though, because deep chain reactor I knew what my dad was doing when mum was away was wrong, merely I utter cypher to each angiotensin-converting enzyme. I convinced myself that it was my fault. At least now though I was comprehend a councillor and I was beginning to accept the fact that Mum was get hitched with to Ian, Dad loved Karen. My parents were happy, and I was a humble happier now too. I managed to get all of my feeling out that had been delibera exess my shoulders smooth for years.I was happy as large as I was with Paul and I couldnt time lag to see him. He loved me. All morning I seemed to be rushing everywhere. I went up town to the Library to research the content of my project. thither were loads of books and I managed to get everything I require in notes on paper. I cant wait I cant wait I kept thinking in my mind. Afterwards at roughly ten past two, I prognosticated Paul to see if he had got on the train ok only his Mum told me that he was obliterate at the police station because he had got involved in a actually big fight and was possibly spillage to be in for another six-spot hours.I went home and unsloped stayed in my bed live with my music on ripe blast. I didnt want to be on my own. Most of my friends were going to a party, precisely I snarl too hard-pressed. I didnt want to get drunk or anything, I cherished psyche to lambaste to but I wasnt close to my mum then. I later decided to ph ane a good friend who I had met on the web. He had sent me a photo recently and he was 17 with a face a little ilk Craig David, but I didnt really think about it much because we were just good friends. He was seeing a girl called Stephanie and I had Paul.I agree to meet him an hour later at the train station by sneak out of the house when everyone was in bed. I told him that I would be wearing jeans and a blue baggy sweatshirt so he knew who I was. We had never met in psyche but at least he would recognise me and know who I was. The strangest thing was that I had a voice in my mind trying to tell me something, but I just didnt pay any attention to it. This wasnt London where there were openhanded people. I pushed the little voice to the back of my mind. I was being paranoid, just a little uneasy from stories in the media.He was a friend, and besides, terrible things dont bechance in places here. Others yes, but not here. Thats what my problem was, I always organized religioned everyone. Ten oclock came so I went mastered s teps, out of the back gateway and headed towards the station. It was a cool clear wickedness and alternatively pretty with all the stars. cable cardinal last road to cross, up the stairs and I was there looking round. I couldnt see him, but then I froze and matte up a chill down my spine. A man was walking towards me. He was very tall, quite well reinforced and looked strong. His skin was one of the darkest blacks I had ever seen and he was smiling at me.I didnt know who he was, but he knew me. I had been stupid, very stupid. I cherished to run, to scream to be back home. There were a couple of people around, but I just couldnt move. He was only a metre away and he put his arm around me, perfectly naturally, and led me to his car. My head was spinning around in circles. I was on my own, no one could help me, no one would know where I was. I was so worried about what was going to happen to me, what if he killed me? How could I escape? What upset me most is how upset my Nan wo uld be, my Mum.It was from that min on that I decided that I would do anything and everything he said to. I didnt want to die. The car journey was ludicrous I felt up as if I was in a divergent world. Everything around me was misty, moving warm. I couldnt take in a lot of where we were, but when everything change slightly I noticed we were good turn into a street and he said almost there baby. I knew I had to have some sort of idea where I was. The road he turned the car into was called Maybush Avenue. He was watching me closely and said we were in Shirley. I made sure I remembered that too.When the car finally stopped we got out and he told me to walk towards the end house. I did as he said. The street was quite grand and had about 16 houses each side. It was quite a rough area, with loads of graffito and rubbish around, and hardly any lights, one worked better than the others but it was all the same rather faint. When I stopped at the gate he opened it and took me insid e. The house was different to others. It had no carpets, just a carpet here and there. The floor was just orchestra pit and the sitting room was like a waiting room, cold and depressing.There was a single sofa that had rips in it and old stains, and a chair in the corner, which was taped up where it had been broken several times. He went into the kitchen and brought back a bottle of drink and two glasses, but I told him about my anti-depressants, so he got me some puff instead. He instructed me to follow him upstairs, and lead me into a dark room with a copy bed in it. He told me to.. get undressed and get into bed, and went back down stairs. I didnt want him to get barbaric with me or hurt me, so I just took my jeans off and got into the bed on the window side.I had leftfield my long darknessy and bra under my sweat shirt, and had leotards under my jeans because of how cold it was outside. I left them on so that only my pass on and face were uncovered. I wanted to secret e myself from his clutches. I even felt like jumping out of the window. I felt so upset and mad at myself. I was so insane to trust someone I had never met. I tried not to think of it though. The room was cold and dark. Oh so cold. All I could hear was the distant sound of traffic, fast traffic in a remit world. I felt so distant from everything. Isolated. The only light there was came from a pale street lamp.The traffic sounded like it was drifting away, but it was me. I felt so tired because of how cold I was. I heard a diminutive sound coming from the staircase someone was coming up. It was him. I woke up at about eight oclock. I got out of bed and put my clothes on and I was thinking about acquire out, but he soon woke up. I decided I would make up an excuse as to why I had to go home, hoping he wouldnt be bothered by it. I told him about my project and said I urgently needed to finish it. He sat up on the bed and said its ok Ill take you home now that I have done what I wan ted to.I thought that what happened through the night was just a nightmare. That nonentity had happened asunder from my head being messed up. I felt so cheap, so worthless. I was in a trance. I couldnt remember who or where I was. When I was dropped outside my house, I just walked inside, hoping everyone was ok. All I felt inside me was hatred, not for him or my family. For myself. I was stupid, cheap, dirty and I am nothing anymore. Ever since this happened, I have still felt that hatred of myself. I still feel worthless and empty, but I am starting to re-build my life and I hope to find happiness one day.